I am sitting in Venice inside an apartment with a view of one of the many canals below me. I can hear the locals speaking Italian on the busy sidewalks that skirt the edge of the water below. A slight breeze blows through an open window, a ray of sunlight shines upon a bookshelf on my left. Roger, a man I frequently care give for, is out on the upstairs veranda making conversation with his company that has come from Amsterdam for work. I can also hear them talking softly.
Our itinerary on this trip hasn’t been too unusual, our plan is to go to Amsterdam, Prague, Venice and London. Our trip is halfway done, hence why we are currently in Venice. Amsterdam was too busy, and Prague was too unfamiliar, and that is why my secret mission is to be completed here in Venice.
I get out of my chair and lean outside the open window, looking three stories down to the water below me. The water today is a beautiful blue hue, not the muddy colour it usually is. I lean as far out as I dare, my hands grabbing both sides of the window sill to keep my balance. I have a thought about jumping. Jumping far far down into the water where I can sink to the bottom and rest there for eternity. I imagine the water is concrete – If it were and I had jumped I imagined the feeling of free fall before the feeling of nothing, my body left in a squashed mess for someone to come and clean up.
I decide that this is the perfect spot.
I run to my suitcase and dig through it until I feel a small round object. I pull it out; it’s a round pendant made of gold. The pendant itself is meaningless to me, a token a mother gave to me in some form of apology. It’s what was inside the pendant that is most important.
I run back to the window with the pendant in my hand. I feel it’s size between my fingers, the smooth roundness of it and it’s familiarity as I’ve had it in my possession for a year now. I had thought once of breaking it open and taking its contents out as there was never a need to keep what was inside contained. It needed to be free.
I hold the pendant out of the window. I look to make sure no one is watching. The coast is clear, and with one small toss I watch the pendant fall three stories and splash into the water. I smile at what I have done. He’s free. He’s finally free. What better way to lay my friends ashes to rest then by throwing them into the bowels of a city that will also disappear one day? This city will sink into oblivion, way down into the depths where the mud sits and gold pendants rest.